Gelatunous Living: Roadzilla

This blog/rant is going to be my Friday therapy. It's Friday and it's the end (or a long pause at least) to my to-and-fro work commute. Heck yeah.

To the boyz out there : I dunno what kick you get from being behind the steering wheel, but driving has never been fun for me. Put me behind a Porsche or a Lamborghini (or a bat-mobile for that matter) and I'd still avoid it as much as I can. Which is why I still own a trusty 2007 Prius and dont plan to switch it out anytime soon. To me, owning a fancy car is like buying a highly-sophisticated piece of expensive gym equipment: No matter how fancy it looks and how high-tech it is, it's still a pain to use it. :) And it costs big doubloons to fix a problem with something that sophisticated.

My hatred of driving was once a mild-dislike. Rewind the reel a couple of years and didnt mind it as much. This was when I had more time and patience to be on the road. Enroute to my workplace, about half way in, is a golf course in a town called Sunol. It was a relief looking across the freeway onto the lush golf course greens. Some days I would imagine being on the golf course, sitting on the grass, instead of heading to work. The grass is always greener on the other side of the asphalt.

Sunol valley golf club

End flashback, I'm now a mom and I have no time to smell the roses and dream of spending time on golf courses. Those things are for vacations and weekends. All I think of as soon as I get into the car is how I cant get from point A to B in good time, without being stuck in traffic. The joys of suburbia.

So to my fellow bay area drivers, here's what you can do to assuage my road rage:

1. If you drive a beatup 1989 chevy, get out of my lane. I'd rather have your 1800-junk-car fall apart in some other lane, so I dont lose 10 minutes getting slowed down.

2. If you got a day off on a less common holiday like Columbus day while the rest of us have to go to work, stay at home and out of my lane.

3. If you are from "out of town" and are going to be setting your GPS or your phone navigation system while driving, get out of my lane. Take the next exit and figure out your maps in a parking lot. Welcome to California.

4. If you're driving an RV, a boat trailer, a limo or a U-haul get out of my lane and off the freeway. You have no business driving "recreational" vehicles and moving vans on a busy freeway on Friday afternoon, while the rest of us are trying to get home. Why in such a rush to get to Tahoe, Napa or LA ? Do that on Saturday morning.

5. If you're driving on a learner's permit, get out of my lane. You keep doing the binary gas/brake thing so I have to, too. Join the maps fellow and practice in a parking lot. I've seen fully loaded 18-wheelers merge at a faster rate. Bleeeeeping bleep.

6. If you are a going to drive like a slowcoach granny on the road, get out of my lane, or paint your car a banana yellow/ neon orange / hotpink color, so I can spot you from a distance, and get out of yours. The garish colors help me identify you as a total timesuck and keeps the veins in my forehead from exploding when you drive at 55 miles per hour in a 65 zone in free flowing traffic, causing me to change lanes constantly.

In short, I'm just trying to get home to my sweet baby who I havent seen in 8 hours, so please give me a break. Every minute I dont spend on the freeway in traffic, I can spend with my little darling. Honestly, with a face like this waiting at home for me, can you blame me ?