Mummification

This post is about an ancient Egyptian burial custom called mummification.
Just kidding. It is not. :)

While we're on the subject though, something that is as old as Tutankhamen himself is the fear and loathing of in-laws. For centuries, we've been taught to be leery of our spouse's family by social conditioning. This is common across every race, religion and region of the world. "Of course you hate them, avoid them, blame them and want nothing to do with them. They're your in-laws!" Just watch an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" on TV or one of the "Meet the Parents" movies. Truth is, society trains us from a very early age to fear & doubt our in-laws.

You cant choose your neighbors & your relatives. When I was younger, I  wondered what it would be like if you could. What if you could pick and choose your in laws from a group of "eligible" mom-dad types ? What if there was speed-dating available for finding the most compatible mother-in-law ? Better still, what if there were online shopping sites where you could "add-to-cart" the most congenial-looking couple, check out and have them delivered home ? Wouldn't the world be a happier place where everyone got along better ? :)

Before I let my fertile imagination get the better of me, let me burst my own bubble and admit that even if that was possible, it would never work long-term  The fact is, that just like there are minor adjustments and compromises involved in getting along with your spouse, manager or kids, there is a similar tweaking that needs to happen with the in-laws. We are all different and people need to be patient in finding harmony in co-existence.

I am happy to say that I have attained such harmony with my mother in law in the past 2 months she has spent with us after my son's birth. In fact, I am now a big fan of her and look forward to her next visit. Maybe baby #2 has to happen sooner. :)

On a day trip to napa valley

Why did this bonding happen 5 years into being married ? First, we live in different countries and never spent this much time together before. There was the week after I got married and a week in Bali with the in-laws but very little one-on-one time under the same roof. Second, we each have a very different upbringing and very little in common.

S was off to work right after the baby came, leaving us ladies to battle the baby issues at home. This put us in a position where we had to find whatever little we had in common. Of course it is the baby and S. But there's also our love for spicy food and Bollywood movies. Our enjoyment of harmless girl-talk/ celebrity-gossip. All the lovely growing-up family stories involving hubby dearest. And we are both big foodies. Well, she's a great cook and I'm a great eater, so the relationship is pretty symbiotic. :) 

Correction: we have enough in common. We just had to make the effort to find it.

I wouldn't go as far as saying that we're "a match made in heaven", but we get along just fine. I get easily attached to things and people and I know hubby will quote me at some inopportune moment, but here it goes: I will miss her when she is gone in 2 days. I won't miss her quirks like sending me to the grocery store 4 times a week, each time for little stuff, but I will miss the loving way in which she looks at my baby. I will miss all those cute growing up stories about S. I will miss having someone to talk to. I will miss the tasty and simple home-cooked dinners. Most of all, I will miss her company and friendship through those tough times with the baby.

So guess what - even if there was the "add-to-cart" option for picking in laws, I'll stick with the ones I have. Now that I've peeled back the outer layers and really seen them for what they are, I realize how blessed I am. Oh yes, I've been "mummified".

Here's bidding you auf wiedersehen not goodbye. Until we meet again, for even more happy times.