We live among cheaters.
It occurred to me while watching the Casey Anthony trial and the Arnold Schwarznegger nanny scandal that since there are so many different words for lying and cheating in the English language, that there must be a significant amount of dishonesty in the human race to describe every nuance of it. Let's see: swindle, falsify, mislead, fraud, fake, pretender, imposter, hypocrite, phony, trickster, con, ... phew. I can think of at least 10 more, without even jogging my brain. I bet you can too.
It occurred to me while watching the Casey Anthony trial and the Arnold Schwarznegger nanny scandal that since there are so many different words for lying and cheating in the English language, that there must be a significant amount of dishonesty in the human race to describe every nuance of it. Let's see: swindle, falsify, mislead, fraud, fake, pretender, imposter, hypocrite, phony, trickster, con, ... phew. I can think of at least 10 more, without even jogging my brain. I bet you can too.
As a new scandal makes the headline, there are more terms added to the language. One interesting euphemism that surfaced after the Mark Sanford affair was "hiking the Appalachian trail”. I’m sure this cool new vernacular has made it into everyday jargon. Take the example of the gossiping “ladies who lunch” conversations, like: “Have you heard the latest about her philandering husband ? I heard he’s been hiking that old Appalachian trail lately." I should be the last to judge anyone. In fact, I’m going to use this post to confess about my own little scandal.
For the past 3 years, I have shuffled accommodations between the sister cities Dublin, CA(94568) and Pleasanton, CA(94566).
Dublin is newer, has a younger demographic, better roads, has the big brand stores and the IMAX. Pleasanton is an older town, caters to a slightly more mature demographic, has better schools and parks. What can I say, I love them both equally, I cant decide which one to settle with, so don’t ask me to make up my mind.
These cities share a lot of things: roads, bus routes, parks, libraries, restaurants chains and whatnot. In fact, when it came to naming the train stop that connects the twin towns to San Francisco, the local transit system decided to call it “East Dublin/Pleasanton” and “West Dublin/Pleasanton” to avoid controversy. Long-wordy ! Talk about political correctness.
For the past 3 years, I have shuffled accommodations between the sister cities Dublin, CA(94568) and Pleasanton, CA(94566).
Dublin is newer, has a younger demographic, better roads, has the big brand stores and the IMAX. Pleasanton is an older town, caters to a slightly more mature demographic, has better schools and parks. What can I say, I love them both equally, I cant decide which one to settle with, so don’t ask me to make up my mind.
These cities share a lot of things: roads, bus routes, parks, libraries, restaurants chains and whatnot. In fact, when it came to naming the train stop that connects the twin towns to San Francisco, the local transit system decided to call it “East Dublin/Pleasanton” and “West Dublin/Pleasanton” to avoid controversy. Long-wordy ! Talk about political correctness.
We are too spoilt for choice in this area. This is the only justification for my lying and cheating that I can come up with. We first moved to Pleasanton in January 2008. Until mid-2010, I bought all my Indian grocieries at a store called Kamal Spices in Pleasanton.
When I moved to Dublin in Spring 2010, I discovered a chaat place, Café Taaza, that has yummy desi snacks like paani-puri and papri-chaat. Next door to it is a desi grocery store called New India Bazar. The snack shop and the store are co-owned by brothers.
Both grocery stores, the one in Dublin and the one in Pleasanton, are exactly the same distance from my place (about half a mile). I'm definitely feeling the 3-year itch. It makes me want to split my time between the two of them and I cheat all the time.
Kamal Spices is definitely the wife. Small, unpretentious, fewer aisles, always compliant and understanding (the store owner will throw in a fee movie DVD even if I haven’t met the met the minimum sales to earn one), never any lines for checkout. Just familiar and easy to shop at. They also have homemade goodies like fresh dhokla and fresh-made rotis, so thin and perfect for days when I have no time to make my own. Those beautiful rotis. Sigh, they make for such an Indian-wife metaphor, I want to cry.
When I moved to Dublin in Spring 2010, I discovered a chaat place, Café Taaza, that has yummy desi snacks like paani-puri and papri-chaat. Next door to it is a desi grocery store called New India Bazar. The snack shop and the store are co-owned by brothers.
Both grocery stores, the one in Dublin and the one in Pleasanton, are exactly the same distance from my place (about half a mile). I'm definitely feeling the 3-year itch. It makes me want to split my time between the two of them and I cheat all the time.
| Kamal Spices, Pleasanton |
| Cafe Tazza, Dublin |
I think what really makes me go there is the café next door. The snacks take me back to the chat shops in India. Crispy, spicy deliciousness. Nothing like an afternoon quickie. A snack, I mean. :)
S says, where there’s a wife, there has to be nagging. Whenever I visit the Pleasanton store (a couple of times a month), the shop owner’s wife complains that I haven’t dropped by, in quite a while. I was making smalltalk with her one time and I casually mentioned about my move to Dublin. Ever since that day, she keeps asking me if I now visit the other store instead of her store. I lied to her saying that the other store is a disaster, their stuff is all over the place and I can never find what I want, trying not to hurt her feelings. But she knows what I’ve been upto. She no longer greets me with a warm smile nor throws in that occasional free DVD rental. She just scans the items in my basket robotically. Everything has changed. The love is gone. It is all very business-like now. An empty commitment. Someone please play me some Careless Whisper. Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
I get no questions at the Dublin store. There are new cashiers all the time. Nobody knows your name. There are no expectations. There is no history. There is no commitment.It's all very cut-and-dry. And the rotis are horrible. They are thick like frisbees. Chewy and yuck. Someone teach this place how to make a roti. Aaah, but those cafe snacks are spicy hawtness. I'm helpless.
The fact is, you cant have everything. Cheating comes from wanting it all and stupidly chasing the notion that you’ll never get caught.
I will continue to flip-flop between the wife and the mistress, until I can no longer handle the drama.
What can I say, I love them both equally, I cant decide which one to settle with, so don’t ask me to make up my mind. ;)
Oh what a tangled web we weave when we learn to deceive. Someday this is going to end very badly. You cant eat your chaat and have it too.
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To read more about these stores:
3 comments:
haha.. this one was funny! :) I love the way you write!
3 suggestions:
Take a print-out of each blog n file in a beautiful folder bcos u hv the makings of a gud writer.
Don't limit yrself to this deal-things only; write abt yr other life-experiences also.
Don't worry too much abt being politically correct or offending someone. Write bindaas. Expand.
I'm sure u hv a life-time of experiences waiting to b written n shared with us. I see a book/compilation in future.
One more: pl add a pictorial depiction always; a picture n 1000 words n all that -- a cartoon here or a witty saying with illustration there. These attract, bring out the flavor up-front n make a dull walk turn into an interesting window shopping experience through a market.
Ashok
^ Dad, all great feedback. thanks.
I write for my own pleasure, not to win people's votes. It's always nice to know people are reading.
If people enjoy reading, good. If they are bored because of lack of photos etc, it's ok too. Thank God this is not a published magazine that people pay $$ for. The freedom to write what I want separates this from a job.
I love writing about deals. It is hard to come up with meaningful life blogs every week, but writing about deals is a good way to share my experiences with friends.
No plans of being an author - I'm not that good. :) This is just for funzies. Keep reading !
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