Breakroom BFF

Human beings are complicated. It's hard to say what makes a real connection between two people. And I mean more than following someone on twitter or being on their friends' list on facebook or following the same blogs they do. I mean something that makes people "click". I thought it was mostly the "birds of a feather flock together" theory, but it's not. There is no scientific or mathematical formula for it, otherwise dating sites like Match.com would be out of business. 

I should admit that while I'm generally a happy, easy-going person that enjoys socializing; my slightly cynical side (thanks Dad) makes it so that I take a while to really warm up to people. And I have my own formulae for social interaction. Like this one: "Minimize co-worker additions to the facebook account." If I have a tipsy afternoon in Napa or if I am out late screaming my lungs out at a Coldplay concert on the weekend, I wouldn't want my co-workers knowing about it. It leads to unnecessary judgment and speculation. To date, I have added only 5 people from any of my workplaces to my social networks. My blog today is about the #5 spot on that list. :)

I met N in late October 2011 when she joined our team in a short-term contracting position. I was asked to pair up with her to show her the ropes. The buddy system is a great concept. For most people, starting a new job is a mixture of happiness, excitement and in many cases, trepidation. The system sets up fresh recruits with a “buddy” — an existing employee to help them through the transition.

Starting out, it was plain to see that there wasn't a lot that was common between the two of us, except our nationalities. I was raised in Delhi, while N is from a small town in southern India. While I've been in the US since 2003,  N had just moved to US in early 2011. I can draw up a laundry list of differences, but I want to be polite and maintain her privacy.

During her first week at the job, I found her eating by herself in the cafeteria. While I usually do the same at my desk, I decided to "be nice" and join her. Once that happened, there was no looking back. We were meeting for lunch everyday at 12.15pm sharp, watching ping-pong sessions in the breakroom, exchanging favorite flavours of fat free yogurt, talking about lazy husbands, food blogs, recipes, travel destinations, families, you name it. My lunch quirk is that I hate eating straight out of a lunch box. I must empty my lunch box onto a disposable plate. It makes lunch feel homey. :) N found this quite entertaining. I was always surprised that she never ate anything precooked or pre-processed, not even a pre-assembled salad. She made all her lunch the same morning. Sacrificing 30 minutes of sleep to prepare a home-cooked meal - you have to respect that. And every Friday, we shook up the routine and went out to lunch. N's favorite spot was Panera. She's a salad lover and we'd end up there on several Fridays. Having a lunch buddy makes the effort of driving out for lunch quite worthwhile.

The week after I returned from Mexico after thanksgiving break, our lunch conversation was all about year-end travel. Soon N was on my facebook friends' list. When February came, it was time for her to leave to go spend her last trimester at home with her parents before her baby came. On her last day, I was already feeling the separation pangs. We had really struck gold as far as a good friendship goes, and it sucked that she had to leave. I still remember tears rolling down her face as she said goodbye.

So what is it that I miss most about my breakroom bff ? Company at lunch time ? Someone to talk to ? Bitch session about difficult people ? Our Friday lunch outs ? Well, it's all of the above and more. Just like her made-from-scratch lunch, there is nothing processed or pretentious about N. She is simple, trusting, easily excited by red-velvet cupcakes or other sweet treats and a total optimist. Maybe it was just that she was relatively new to the bay area and the US, but spending time with her was a respite from the jaded-ness of everyday life. I am now back to my old routine of eating at my desk. Now that the weather is sunnier, I do slip out for a brisk walks outside on most days. But even that would be more fun with N.

N before mommyhood

N and I on her last day at work

Whether you get a chance to read this or not N, I hope you know that I miss you. More than I said I would, more than I thought I will. Be safe and well. Be happy and unspoilt, always. Enjoy motherhood. And be back, soon !